There was a gang of turkeys that roamed the neighborhood I once lived in. If you are not familiar with the warrior spirit of the turkey, you have much to learn. To understand this, you will have to know that turkeys are sketchy as fuck. I mean, I have never feared a feathered farm fowl ever! A roster can be quite intimidating, but they don’t travel in gangs. Turkeys do, and they are fearless. They will take on a moving vehicle, block the road, look you right I the eye, and dare you to accelerate. Their expressions give a sociopath vibe that made me sure that if they could, they would stab and never not blink their beady eyes.
I looked out my window one morning, and no less than fifteen turkeys were coming up the dirt driveway with an attitude. They made their slow, intentional stroll toward the house. The war on thanksgiving had arrived at my front yard, and I would be casualty number one. I wasn’t about to go out there with the G Street Gobblers! When they slowly encircled my car, I knew that they were after me. There were four different vehicles outside, and they picked mine. This was personal. This was a message from Tom “the ax” Turkey himself. Then the strangest thing happened. As if someone “1,2,3…go,” they all started pecking the chrome on the trim and bumpers. For some reason, they were pissed at my car. I’m sure to their little turkey brains they believed they were beating the living shit out of that car.
It was not personal. They were attacking their reflections. Turns out they were mad at that themselves. The site of their reflections incited their primal turkey rage, and with a fiery ferocity, they pecked. They were not mad at me. They were just pissed off at themselves. A reflection of their own face produced hate and rage that blinded them to the obvious; they were attacking themselves.
Sort of like human beings, huh?
Primal turkey rage is more of a human trait. Mostly because we have no idea what it means to be self-aware. Yup, you might be a turkey and not even know it. That is if you are pecking away at your own reflection because what you see in other people replicates your pain. What we dislike in ourselves we hate in others. What we hate about ourselves makes us attack the chrome bumper on a car and other dumb things.
Even though I was too “chicken” to go out a face the turkeys, I did fight back. They did not calculate my secret weapon… the car alarm. I set the alarms and then unlocked the doors and set the alarm again. They finally walked away like they just blew up a building in an action film.
Consider this your car alarm, you bunch of turkeys. The next time someone irritates you, or maybe it’s a person that is really trying to “peck at your chrome.” Consider the turkey in them and in yourself. Perhaps you can navigate this world without being an asshole or thinking everyone else is.
Happy Thanksgiving
