Since it is PRIDE Month, I have been thing about what it means to be an ally and to support the LGBTQIA+ community. Every time I talk about this, some chucklehead sends a message either accusing me of being gay or being in the closet. I just started replying,
“I wish!”
“Wait… you wish that you were gay, or you wish that you were in the closet?” they ask.
“Yeah…I wish!” I will say, and I let their confusion do them in.
So many miss the point about supporting queer folks. It is not about being queer yourself — it is about understanding that all people should be able to live their lives in peace, free from discrimination and oppression.
Why should straight folks be allies?
My first response to this question is met with me regressing to a 12-year-old blurting out a very emphatic, “uh duh!” But once I return to being a mature adult, I will say, It will make the world would be a better place. When straight people accept gay people, it will be a huge step forward in making the world a better place, not just for the queer community.
Living in a world that denies equality is a very grey and depressing place. To be human is to be accepting of the entire human race. Oppression of any kind is evil. It is our responsibility as human beings to stand up against injustice wherever we see it, whether it is happening to someone else or ourselves. This includes standing up against homophobia and transphobia as well as racism, sexism, xenophobia…the list goes on! Being an ally means fighting for justice for all people because we believe in equality. No political, religious, or social commentary that hurts other people should not be allowed to continue to cause harm.
What allies do is speak up for the rights of those who either have no rights or people who have some rights, just not the same rights as everyone else. This goes for the oppression and discrimination of any race, color, or religious views. When we proclaim that people who live their true selves are going to hell or “God hates fags.” We become the problem. This is the moldy blood bread of death served to queer people because of the truth of their sexual orientation. This is where the straight ally comes in. We can rise to the occasion and stand in front of the LGBTQIA+ and say, “If you want to get to them, you’ll have to climb over us!”
No straight savior is needed.
Our goal is not just acceptance of the straight community; it is acceptance of everyone. There are intelligent, passionate, and dedicated people in the LGBTQIA+ community doing the challenging work for equality. However, allies are here to assist and support, not take over and become the savior. We are going in to help and assist, not a hostile takeover of well-meaning straight people. It will mean something to the world when cisgender folks stand up and say, “Enough of this shit. We enter the fray to fight for the people hurt by intolerant, bigoted legislation, which prompts a message that says, “If the leaders say that you are less than then I can treat you as such.” The words of preachers, pastors, and priests are certainly not without influence. Their hate-soaked words act like the permission slip needed for acts of violence against the LGBTQIA+ community.
As allies, we protect and defend, yes… but perhaps it is time to stop being allies and become accomplices.
I have been an ally for long enough; it is time to get in the fray and be that accomplice that gets beaten and pepper-sprayed, arrested, fined, jailed, or whatever it takes! It is not a new idea. But it is an idea that I intend to embrace.
I have a t-shirt that says, “Ally AF” which is a lot of supporters’ position. It is time to up the ally game and become a certified Accomplice. (as fuck.)
I am not suggesting that we participate in illegal activity per se — but I am saying that as Queer folks fight on the front lines need backup. We need to stand beside our friends, lock-armed jumping in front of every she/her, everyone saying he/him and identifying as they/them, anyone in danger of hate and violence.
Being an ally is no joke. It is never to make us as straight folks feel better about ourselves or to make us look good on social media. It is about ending oppression. We become part of the healing for the Queer Community so that they are safe and can feel better. Imagine having no one that loves you, no one supporting you. This is life for so many in this lovely people group. Their families have rejected them, churches call them abominations and politicians minimize their wounds and dismiss their deaths. We must bring the death and burial of the discrimination and the violence committed daily to the LGBTQIA+ folks who are a beautiful group of humans.
I challenge us all to up your allyship and consider how you can support the LGBTQIA+ humans and show them the love and support needed to bring the hate to an end.
Remember that you are responsible for educating yourself about the LGBTQIA+ community. I have provided these links to help begin or continue your education.
https://lgbtqia.ucdavis.edu/educated/ally-tips
https://lgbtqia.ucdavis.edu/educated/ally-training
Thanks for reading.
